Doctor Seuss Was Right

"Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened." ~ Dr. Seuss

This spring I am experiencing God's grace for the season I am in. Up until this year, when I thought about Hannah graduating high school, I just knew I would cry so much as all the Senior rites of passage occurred. I could even tear up a little anticipating all the feelings. 

But I haven't cried at all. (Yet. I still have Senior Sunday at church and her Gradation Celebration to go.) And I wondered why I would tear up thinking about Hannah's graduation when she was a sophomore or junior but not now that it's actually happening. After all, so many things are now over.

I think the answer is that when I would anticipate her graduation in advance, high school wasn't over. We still had so much left to do and experience.  The last couple of years have given us chances for her to develop more freedom and independence, which she has used wisely and well. And we have begun that beautiful transition from just mother-daughter to true friends. God has allowed our family to grow into being ready to close the high school chapter of Hannah's life and open the college chapter. 

So, even though so many familiar things are over, I can be happy that my daughter is graduating as a smart, caring, Jesus-loving, responsible, amazing young woman. That is truly something to smile about!

Love and Compassion

One of the sad things about having pets is that they don't always live as long as we would like them to live.  This is especially true of small pets.  Over the years we have had several sets of gerbils.  Most lived a regular gerbil lifespan (2-3 years), but Hope's last gerbil, Inka III, lived around 4 years!  After it died, we got 4 new gerbils, one for each girl.  

We'd had the gerbils for only 2 or 3 months when Hope realized that her new gerbil, Inka IV, was sick.  We hand fed it and loved on it and prayed for it, but it didn't make it.  Hope was so sad!  I was sad, too.  I so wanted to spare her from this pain.  But I couldn't.  

After Joy found out she told Hope that Hope could share her gerbil and could even call it Inka.  Then Hope gave Joy the sweetest hug!  I try to teach and model compassion to my girls, but sometimes I wonder if they are getting it.  That night I saw that, at least some times, they do.  It touched me to see these two girls, who are the ones who are at odds the most out of all the girls, share such a sweet moment of love and compassion.

Hope is doing well now.  And I think that Joy's compassion played a part in soothing her pain.  I pray that as my girls grow and experience other pain and difficulties that they will be there for each other and comfort one another with compassion and love.  

The Letter of the Law Is...H

I learned recently what the letter of the law actually is. According to one sweet daughter, it's H. Of course, she didn't say it in so many words, but I got the message anyway.

She and her sister were having a fight disagreement when I heard her yell say loudly, "I h-word you!" Our girls all know they aren't allowed to say hate. (Except for hating the devil. One takes great delight in hating the devil.) But she wanted to express the sentiment. So she was in perfect obedience of the letter of the law, but missed the spirit of the law. Legalism starts early!

We discussed that she actually loves her sister, and that anger doesn't give us the right to be unkind. And the two involved in this episode are best friends once again.

And I realize that as a mom, my girls are ready for me to begin going beyond the what of the law to the why of the law: that we want to reflect Jesus in everything. And He only hates sin - and the devil!

Cords of Kindness

I am in the midst of Beth Moore's Living Beyond Yourself Bible study. This week is on kindness and goodness. Yesterday, I read about God's loving kindness to His people Israel and to us and how He so often expresses that kindness in terms of a loving parent. It's a beautiful picture that inspires me to be a more aware of God's Fatherhood and to be a better parent to my girls.

In the back of my mind the verse about the kindness of God leading us toward repentance kept playing in my head. I looked up the verse and it says, "Or do you presume on the riches of His kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?" Rom. 2:4 (ESV) God does not force us to repent. He doesn't shame us to repentance (although He most definitely does convict!). He doesn't nag us to repent. He gently draws us to a place of heart change through kindness.

And I thought about my parenting. Am I trying to bring about heart change in my children using methods that can only change their behavior but not their hearts? Nagging, threatening, yelling, and punishing might bring about the behavior I'm hoping for, but my children's hearts won't be more tender toward God or more obedient to me because I do those things. I realize that I need to use kindness to motivate my children to want to obey. I need to use kindness to draw their hearts to me and to God. This doesn't let me off the hook when it comes to discipline. Leniency is not kindness!

So I'm asking God to give me creative ways to show godly kindness to my girls. It will reap rewards in all our lives.