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Day 12 - Learning Thankfulness
One of my moments of grace came yesterday as I was reading Ann Voskamp's beautiful blog. So often when I read Ann's peaceful and lovely words, I believe that she must have a life naturally peaceful and lovely. She must have gentle, obedient, helpful children. She must naturally have the energy and the motivation to lovingly teach her children and keep her home in order. She would not fuss at her children or rush through bedtime or burn carrots because she was tired and not checking them often enough. It can be easy to think Ann is able to be so thankful because she has more to be thankful for than I do.
But when I read her post, I see a woman who doesn't have a life absent of conflict. Her children are not perfect. Her home is not always in order. Her feelings lie to her just like mine do to me. Her thankfulness isn't a result of having a better life. It's not the result of having some special connection with God that I can't have. She is thankful because she has learned to see God's hand in everything. She doesn't have more to be thankful for; she looks for reasons to be thankful in everything.
So today I pray that I would learn to stop and see God at work in my life - in the normal, in the mundane, in the unpleasant. Because He is in all these things.
Day 11 - Some First World Graces
* A good day of math for my girl who doesn't like math.
* French bread from our new Panera to go with our supper.
* Dr Pepper
* Parenthood
* Realizing our homeschool co-op is not until next week.
* Sleeping in a little.
* Chocolate.
* Staying up late reading.
Day 10 - I No Longer Have an ALIAS
Yesterday we watched the series finale of Alias with our two oldest daughters. And I'm already missing the characters. We all became so attached to them over over months-long relationship. This is my second time watching the show, and I enjoyed it just as much. In some ways, I enjoyed it more because I was sharing something with my daughters.
One of the things that make this show so good for me is Sydney's character. Even after facing some horrible situations, she doesn't become hardened or cynical. She still loves, still cares, and still holds out hope for even those people who seem beyond hope. I want to be like that. I want my daughters to be like that. I want to be loving, loyal, just, and hope-filled even when the world around me says those qualities don't make sense.
Day 9 -The Grace of Pace
Today I am thankful for the grace and the pace of homeschooling. Today was one of our super-busy days, and the girls and I are all tired and some of us have been a bit emotional. When I think about what our days would be like if the girls attended school, I know that rather than the exception, the pace of our day today would be the rule. (Actually, it would probably be a "normal" day rather than a busy one.)
God hasn't given any of the females in our family an excess of endurance. We all need lots of sleep at night and periods of down time during the day. I am so thankful that God has led us to a schooling lifestyle that fits us so well.
Day 8 - Unstuck
Today as I walked my dog on the first evening cool enough to need a jacket, I pondered my day.
And as I did so I saw how three unrelated events converged today to form a theme: unstuck.
Lately we have been having plumbing problems. Two of our three toilets have not been flushing well, when they've been flushing at all. We even had a plumber come to look at them, but that day they behaved, so he couldn't' see that anything was wrong. Today the problem worsened. After my shower I realized that my toilet had leaked onto the bathroom floor. And none of the toilets worked. The problem turned out to be a broken pump on our mechanical sewer. The water we were sending into our sewer had no place to go. It was stuck. And so it backed up in a smelly mess on my bathroom floor. Thanks to a hard-working plumber, the pump has been replaced and our drains are free to flow out once again.
As I went to Target to check if a shelf I want was on sale (It wasn't.), I noticed the entrance was backed up. Initially I assumed that a large and slow group of people were going in at the same time, but, as I neared the entrance, I realized that people had slowed down or stopped to try helping a bird that was stuck in the entry area. The bird was scared and wouldn't fly back out, and it eventually flew into a window and dazed itself. After this it sat just inside the store, not moving. I tried pushing a cart in front of it, hoping it would turn around and go back out, but it still did not move. Another shopper had a great idea to trap it in a shopping basket. We used two of the baskets to make a cage and released the bird outside, where it flew away.
Our weather has been stuck on hot and humid since May, but the first real cool front of fall came over the weekend. The air was pleasantly cool(er) and dry, perfect for an evening walk. I know we'll probably get more hot and humid before October is over, but this taste of fall is a beautiful reminder that we won't be stuck with hot and humid forever.
As I pondered this theme of unstuck, I thought about how these situations apply to my life.
Like our plumbing, sometimes I let some icky stuff get stuck in my life. My emotions can't move freely, and I sometimes spill my stuck emotions out where they don't belong, making a stinking mess. To fix things I have to let God deal with the root issue and replace any faulty thinking I've allowed. I must allow Him to get rid of things like resentment, unforgiveness, self-righteousness, and pride and replace them with love and grace. Then my stuck emotions can begin to freely flow again.
Like the bird at Target, sometimes I make a bad decision and end up in a situation I can't manage to find my way out of. And the more I struggle, the more disoriented I become. If I will finally rest and trust, God can help me find my way to where I belong. Sometimes that may seem restrictive, like our shopping basket cage, but it will bring eventual freedom.
And sometimes when I get stuck the only thing I can do is wait. God does give us seasons where we may feel stuck. I'm sure Joseph felt that way in prison. Moses must have felt like that in Midian. This isn't a stuck in sin but a stuck in waiting mode. And if I do wait on the Lord, He will bring change in His timing. And when He does, it will be refreshing, like a cool(ish) walk under beautiful stars and a brilliant crescent moon.
Day 7 - Grace Unplugged
Today I had a great mom/daughter date with my eldest daughter. After church we changed into casual clothes and tried out the new Panera Bread. The really great thing about having church at 9 and Sunday School at 10 is that we are out by 11ish and can eat out without having to wait in line. I had heard good things about their mac & cheese, and I was not disappointed. The bread it came with was tasty as well, and my daughter enjoyed her sandwich.
Our movie theater is connected to our mall, so we did a little shopping before going to a movie. So far, I'm not impressed with the fall clothing offerings. Neither was my daughter. I'm hoping the stores we didn't yet go to have something that's more my style.
We then saw Grace Unplugged. We both enjoyed the movie and thought it was well-done. As a parent of a daughter who is not much younger than Grace in the movie, I was thankful for the reminder to be gradually relinquishing my daughter to God.
I also was struck by how much grief and pain the characters could have saved themselves had they truly sought to listen to and understand each other rather than just trying to convince each other that they were right. I want to be a mom, a wife, a friend that doesn't let my own fears and insecurities keep me from really hearing the hearts and hopes and dreams of those closest to me. And I want to encourage them and help them achieve their God-given dreams, even when I don't share those dreams. Even if I wish God would give them different dreams. Because I know that God doesn't give me the power to choose their dreams, but He has given me the ability to either crush or nurture those dreams. May I always be a nurturer and not a naysayer!
Day 6 - Saturday Graces
A list of Saturday moments of grace:
* Attending Paul's nephew's wedding, which Paul officiated
* Shopping with my eldest daughter
* Watching Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers as a family while eating Chick-Fil-A
* Having a new insight about a familiar passage I was studying
* Another Baylor victory
* Watching Alias with my older girls
