Tuesday, May 4, 2010

My Journey

This whole journey into the possibility of planting a church has been a series of stops and starts, of excitement and fear.  When my husband first began to talk about planting a church, I really thought he might be able to accomplish his goals at our current church.  We were making some changes that seemed like they might make it easier to minister to those he wanted to reach.  But I now realize that this may be a longer process than he's willing to endure (and may never happen at all).  

I then went through a period of excitement.  Everything was so theoretical to me at that time that the reality of all that is involved didn't sink in.  We would have fun creating our dream church!  We've often had those "if I were in charge" conversations, but this was different - we would be in charge! (Under God's leadership, of course.)  

Then the magnitude of what we were considering hit me!  And many questions came with it.  Those questions sparked worries and fears.  How will our girls adjust?  Who will keep things organized since neither of us is at all organized?  How will he balance church, a business, and home?  Will our friends help us?  Will they understand?

He had told some of his friends who lived out of town and a couple of close, trusted friends here, but I really wanted him to wait to tell more people until I was more sure. He agreed that this was a good plan.  THEN HE TOLD SOMEONE!!  This totally freaked me out! All the old fears and several new ones came rushing to the surface.  I felt like he was moving too fast.  So he assured me that he wouldn't move forward (in regard to telling people or actually starting the church) until we both agreed it was the right time.

Since then we've had numerous late-night discussions about planting a church.  And my husband is very certain that God is calling him to do this.  So far I have to trust him because God has not given me confirmation that this is what we should do.  

So right now we're waiting. And trying to prepare for things I don't think we can imagine yet.  The preparing isn't too bad.  The waiting is another story... Another story for another post.


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